Changes

I have almost completed a year of being here and it has been interesting to look back on many of the changes that have taken place. Here are some picture of just two of the small changes that have happened. The first is of the weather changes...going from green to brown to fire. The second is the remodelling of my tukol...I think you'll see it is much improved. I hope to see many of you in the states soon!

July

August

September

October

November

December/January - The haze is dust that blew in and lasted for several weeks

Febuary

March

April - it has started raining yet again

Before

After

Before

After - it now has a nice, white cloth ceiling

Hoping...

The children stand by the road and wait all day for a vehicle to pass by so that they can dance in the air and wave with faces glowing. I think these children should be in school but they are young and turn to explore the dirt, mud and hiding places in the tall grasses that other children, for no good reason, have been taught to fear. They know freedom as all children should know it; the endless possibilities of adventure and rapscallionism that children were meant to know.
But these children know far more. They know hunger and want where other children are drowning in frivolous desire. They drink water the color of snot and find themselves in hospitals smelling of urine, vomit and antiseptic; their hair falling out because sorghum alone has the nutritional value of sand. Their mothers sit idly by and wonder why their child has no interest in eating - they are too tired; too worn out from living on little more than a bowl of brown paste and water filled with bacteria and parasites.
I want to have hope, to believe that I am here to somehow offer these children a future that doesn’t include an empty stomach or a gun. When I drive by and see their grimy, smiling faces it gives me hope and makes me believe that there is a chance for peace in this place; that these children will grow up and find something better than what their parents have known. But when I see them lying helplessly in a hospital bed, my pessimism returns. I am reminded, as a friend of mine likes to point out, that here it only takes ten years to make a soldier; you simply take your children and give them a gun. Hatred and mistrust are taught at extremely young ages. I was recently told by a father of a ten year old that he had emphatically assured his son that one day they would shoot the enemy.
I don’t want to live pessimistically. I want to be a voice of hope and peace in this place. I want to claim the reconciliation that has been offered to me in Christ and live out a reconciled life in this world that we have so clearly ruined in our attempts at independence and individualism. There are so many “me” and “yous”, “uses” and “thems” in this world, I hope that, even if only in small ways, I can be a voice for peace; that I myself would be able to find the commonalities that unite us and would grasp a hold on them.
I want for those children the future that their smiles make me believe in. I want clean water and plates full of rice and beans and tomatoes. Most of all I want peace and I want the One who’s name is peace to fill this place. My hope is set that it will be so.

The Newest Love in My Life

She’s a beauty…and she likes to wear yellow – what more could I ask for right?? Yes, I have found love in Sudan. She’s petite, but knows how to handle the harsh realities of living in Sudan and seems to be the perfect match for me. Her name is Senke and she shouldn’t be confused with the thousands of other Senkes in Sudan because, unlike the other Senkes, she has probably seen more miles of Sudan than most. She was left here by some missionaries that were passing through, and I have quite enjoyed her company over the last couple of days. Here are some pictures…









On a different, more serious and somewhat less psychotic sounding note…I’ve been thinking quite a bit about change lately. It is April and I can hardly believe it. We have already had our first rain of the new year and it doesn’t seem possible that in a few months we’ll be digging ourselves out of the mud again around here.
A year ago I was scrambling to finish up my classes at Wake; writing papers, finishing drawings and scrambling to study Arabic vocab words. Now, that world is quite literally, a world away. I wake up to a Muslim call to prayer and roosters crowing outside my mud and thatch hut and I can’t even seem to remember what an alarm clock sounds like or what air-conditioning is. I bounce and bang our four-wheel drive pick-up truck down the road and I have forgotten that there are places that have painted marks designating lanes on multi-lane highways. My Sudanese colleague tells me, “I am forgetting to tell you, I dropped my keys down the latrine by way of accident” and I to am forgetting that I took one or two English classes and there are places where proper grammar is important…plus, who needs a flushing toilet when you can dig a hole in the ground!
Sometimes it scares me, the different worlds I have lived in – the worlds that taste, smell, sound and reverberate with such distinct differences that it is a wonder they cohabitate on this small spinning ball called Earth. It scares me most of all because I cannot connect the worlds although they have each played such important roles in my life. It is difficult at times knowing where exactly I fit because I have fit in all the worlds I have lived in.
Change comes and the world is turned upside down. I go from a North Carolina springtime to a Sudanese rainy season and in each it is a wonder that the other world exists. It is scary, but also exciting because I have had the great chance to live in such different worlds. Each place is unique and, most importantly, filled with very unique people that make that place special to me. Wherever I go I am surrounded by such great people it makes being there worth it. It is quite the place…this world we live in.

This moment.

About two hours ago I was sitting at my desk in the office working on some e-mails when a light rat-tat-tat began on the tin roof. It soon turned to a rumbling roar and in minutes the ground was soaked as the rain thundered down.
We haven't had a real rain since early November and as the rain poured down I couldn't help but think what a beautiful sight it was. Four days ago we were still sleeping outside under the stars because of the heat and today the heavens decided to open up...change comes so fast sometimes!
We went out and stood in the cold rain and as it continued to come down we decided to take advantage of the water coming off the roof to take the cleanest showers we've had in months (just look at the water in my previous post and you'll know why).

I have recently been reading a book of poetry I had for one of my classes at Wake and I think it describes the last few hours pretty well so I'm going to share part of it here.

Moment ~ by Adam Zagajewski

...

The present moment is shameless,
taking its foolish liberties
beside the wall
of this tired old shrine,

awaiting the millions of years to come,
future wars, geological eras,
cease-fires, treaties, changes in climate-
this moment - what is it - just

a mosquito, a fly, a speck, a scrap of breath,
and yet it's taken over everywhere,
entering the timid grass,
inhabiting stems and genes,
the pupils of our eyes.

This moment, mortal as you or I,
was full of boundless, senseless,
silly joy, as if it knew
something we didn't.

Water.....or the lack thereof

Nothing like a little shade.


Our main water source.


The town water truck.


Getting Water




Nothing like a little green in the water to make you really thirsty...